What's Your Drinking Style?
So many times I hear people say “I’m an Alcoholic” but do you really need to go to rehab or are you just an attention seeking dry shite?
Take our quiz to find out !
Have you missed time out of work due to drinking?
A
No, just the odd sneaky half day I take off to get my hair done before a major weekends drinking.
B
Yes, like once a month, but sure me boss is the very same as me!
C
No, I’m fine once I do a line or two of cocaine at work the next day. or have a few drinks at lunch.
2) Have you ever fallen out with someone due to drinking?
A
Yes, at Siobhán’s 21st I wanted to have Jello shots and Kelly didn't, we haven’t really been the same since.
B
Yes, sure don't we all, but sure you just end up getting hammered with them the next night and it's fine.
C
No, the opposite, without alcohol I could never have said I love you to my family, my friends or that toilet attendant down in Cork.
3) Have you ever been sexually intimate with someone when intoxicated you wouldn’t be with sober?
A
Yes, in the Gaeltacht I shifted my best friend Laura in front of a group of lads,but I just pretend to be drunk, and it was totally worth it for all the attention we got in the céilí.
B
Yes, I’ve been with people under the influence of drink I wouldn't be with under the influence of a general anaesthetic !
C
No, It's only when I'm sober/coming down off stuff that I sleep with dealers.
4) Have you ever spent more than you intended on a night out?
A
No, if you keep your eyes peeled on the night club floor you’ll often find loose change and even a few sticky fivers, bending down to pick it up is also good for your glutes.
B
Yes, ATM’s should have an in-built Breathalyzer after 12pm, with an advice slip that says "ring you're mother"
C
No, in fact I would regularly come back with more money than you started with after a night out and even a new handbag.
5) What’s your biggest expenditure when you go out?
A
Alcohol of course (unless you count the sun bed)
B
Taxis to work when hungover, take-away’s when you’re too fucked to cook, that aztec print skirt you bought hungover to take away the fear.
C
Hospital bills
6) You’re out in “da club” you need to go to the toilet. what do you say to your best mates?
A
Nothing, your best mates are already with you in the toilets telling you how amazing you look.
B
I’ll be gone for ten minutes, need to get sick/finish this nagging of vodka and stuff it into the sanitary bins.
C
Gone to the loo, see you in a week.
7) Have you ever gone home with a fella and been really impressed that he has a Dyson Airblade in his house only to then realise you're making love in a disabled toilet?
A
What?
B
Yes
C
What's a Dyson Airblade?
Mostly As -
You need serious help, at loosening up! You are a “No Craic Nora” you spend more time thinking about yourself and who’s looking at you than actually drinking, going out to you is just “Tinder Live and uncut” EVERYONE is bitching about you behind your back and sometimes in front of you too!
Mostly Bs -
In many countries, you’d be considered an alcoholic, in Ireland you’re considered A LEGEND!! well done! you’ve probably been to 23 weddings, 9, 21st and a few communions and confirmations this year, you've even been to a Bar-mitzvah cos everyone knows you’re savage craic.
Mostly Cs -
You are definitely an alcoholic, however, if you stop life will be no craic at all and you’ll be faced with boring things, like doing the dishes, or minding your kids sober.
You have no need for drinking games, you're already playing "STI Lottery" every time you go out!
